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Japanese confusing? Count on it

14 Aug 2008

Having successfully completed Japanese for Beginners, I’ve moved on to Japanese Level 1, which has kicked up the difficulty a notch or two.

We have been learning a lot of counter words. The way you count digits such as phone numbers (ichi, ni,san…) is not the same as round objects (hitotsu, futatsu, mittsu…) or flat objects (ichimai, nimai, sanmai…) or long objects (ippon, nihon, sanbon…) and so forth. Times, days, weeks, months, hundreds, thousands, ten-thousands… all have different counters with rules (ish) and loads of exceptions. Mayumi Sensei has been teasing us by mentioning strange counters, such as the one for small animals (ippiki, nihiki, sanbiki… I think).

How many can there be, I wondered? Wikipedia has a list of roughly 120 counter words for different objects.

There is one for board game matches and radio and television stations (kyoku) and another for guns, sticks of ink, palanquins, rickshaws and violins (chō).There is another chō (same pronunciation, but different kanji - Chinese character) which applies to tools, scissors, saws, trousers, pistols and cakes of tofu, and a third chō for city blocks.

When I mentioned this to my friend Matt, who lives in Hokkaido, he said:

Don’t worry about those counters, I think people generally only use about five different kinds:

  • Hitotsu, futatsu etc for beer,  counters you can’t remember
  • Hon for slender objects, ie bottles of beer
  • Mai for flat objects, ie plates of food to have with beer
  • Piki for small animals, ie talking about crush videos while drinking beer
  • Nin for people, ie the number of people the waitress must seat to drink beer
  • Nen for years, ie the number of years drinking beer in Japan
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Mother leaves a bad taste

4 Aug 2008

For reasons unclear to me, I received a box of Mother energy drink cans in the post from a PR company last week. They were accompanied by a flyer/media release, titled “Mother: New Taste, Double the energy kick*” with a footnote explaining that this was compared to a 250ml can of the old Mother. (The new cans being 500ml each, this is hardly surprising.)

The release said:

OK, we admit it! What were we thinking when we made Mother taste so damn awful? Turns out no-one liked the taste of Mother so we’ve hunted down the idiots that concocted the vile potion and ‘processed’ them accordingly to ensure nothing like this ever happens again.

It continued along the same lines, mentioning gonads at least once in each paragraph:

It tastes nothing like the old one, so man up, grow some balls and take the challenge!

New Mother – it’s here, it’s got double the kick* and it’s got balls  – do you?

To prove you’ve got the balls to handle the new Mother…

The copy on the can was presumably churned out by the same pseudo-hipster idiots who wrote the phoney aren’t-we-cool-and-casual blurbs on Glaceau VitaminWater, another Coca Cola product. The can says:

Warning! High caffeine content… OK, we know that’s why you’re drinking it, but our lame legal guys made us warn you not to feed this to kids, up the duff women or the weak who just can’t tolerate it.

The can makes several other references to testicles and masculinity as well as clarifying that the new formula tastes nothing like the old one.

So evidently the target market for this product is constantly masturbating retarded 14-year-old boys. None of whom read the magazine I edit, which makes the PR exercise highly questionable.

And the new taste?

Utterly, utterly foul. Really vile.

But at least there’s more of it!

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Must try harder to offend Chinese govt

31 Jul 2008

My blog is currently not blocked by the Great Firewall of China, according to this test. How disappointing. I will be sure in future to say more subversive things about Falun Gong, Taiwan, Tibet and the Chinese government’s many, many human rights abuses.

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Adventures in TV repair

22 Jul 2008

Came home the other night to find the TV on and the house unusually warm. Suspected burglary, but nothing seemed to be missing. Figured the TV had caught a random cosmic ray and switched itself on, and it puts out a fair amount of heat.

Things got weirder on Sunday night. TV kept turning the volume up to 100 by itself. Suspected poltergeist with hearing difficulties.

Process of elimination: remove batteries from remote - still happening. Cover infrared port on TV, in case of random radiation source in the room - seemed to work at first, then didn’t. Twiddle with buttons in case one of them got stuck - non-sticky electronic buttons don’t appear to get stuck or to be capable of unsticking.

Evaluate options: take TV to repair shop, stop watching TV, dismantle TV and poke around the insides, call exorcist. TV is weird LCD thing from Chinese manufacturer nobody’s ever heard of, Konka. Possibly similar to Sorny or Magnetbox.

Pfft.  I know a genuine Panaphonics when I see it.

Pfft. I know a genuine Panaphonics when I see it.

Likelihood of parts availability: minimal. TV addiction too entrenched to consider breaking on a Sunday night before work. Don’t believe in ghosts.

Leaving option 3.

Unplug all cables from TV, lie it flat on dining table, unscrew 25 screws, remove back cover. As expected, button assembly is a discrete component connected to the rest of the TV with a small ribbon cable. Twiddle with ribbon cable connector, appears sound. Unscrew button assembly from frame, pull away from TV with loud glue-unsticking noises. Muck around with button area, twiddle with two additional ribbon cable connectors. Stick button assembly back in place, screw back into frame, twiddle with connectors again. Replace cover, screw in 25 screws, connect power cable to TV. Volume levels remain at preset level.

Plug cables back into TV, realise I’ve missed Dr Who. Watch 5 minutes of Foyle’s War before deciding I’m not in the mood for twee period drama, and besides, Honeysuckle Weeks has a weird name. Read book, retire to bed early.

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Attention SMH: typos diminihs your cerdiblity

17 Jul 2008

From the SMH online front page:

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Free to be annoying

15 Jul 2008

The Federal Court ruled that the NSW Government’s ban on annoying World Youth Day pilgrims was invalid in law.

Justices French, Branson and Stone, said the laws “should not be interpreted as conferring powers that are repugnant to fundamental rights and freedoms at common law in the absence of clear authority from Parliament”.

It is, unfortunately, too late to order one of these from the US.

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Barry Hall, motivational speaker

11 Jul 2008

Barry Hall’s current suspension from the Swans may be the best thing that ever happened to him. If today’s article in the Fairfax papers is any guide, Barry has a promising future as a business motivational speaker.

Titled I must be proactive to get through these confusing times, Hall’s article is a cornucopia of corp-speak buzzwords: “on the front foot”, “source”, “going forward”, “timeframe”, “worst-case scenarios” and so forth.

You have to admire his honesty and he definitely has a commanding stage presence. A bit more coaching on the language - a few end-to-ends and a best practices or two - and he’s got it made.

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Where is Hetty?

9 Jul 2008

In 2001 and 2002, anti-child-abuse campaigner Hetty Johnston’s shrill denunciations and savvy media manipulation were instrumental in the resignation of Governor General Peter Hollingworth, over claims he covered up and mishandled complaints of sexual abuse in the Anglican Church.

In recent months, Johnston has done the rounds of media interviews and opinion pieces sticking the boot into Bill Henson’s photographs of nude teenagers. She has been all over the media calling for tougher sentencing of kiddie fiddlers and child pornographers.

Last night, Hetty was rabble rousing at a community lynch mob over convicted paedo Dennis Ferguson.

However, since Lateline two nights ago revealed that Catholic Cardinal George Pell covered up and mishandled complaints of sexual abuse in his church (gotta love the timing), Hetty has uttered not a peep on the subject.

Now why would that be?

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Hitchens: waterboarding is torture

3 Jul 2008

And he should know, he’s tried it.

Board stiff

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How much user generated content can one user generate?

3 Jul 2008

Things have again been a bit quiet on this blog. I must now divide my attention between this, my work blog, Facebook, Twitter and all the content I can aggregate on Google Reader. And the dozens of random links people send me on instant messenger.

What troubles me is that I know plenty of people for whom this is a fairly lightweight regime. There are people who blog several times a day and Twitter endlessly. And it’s not as though they get paid for it, as far as I can work out. How do they manage?