Archive for August, 2006

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Tosser Morning Herald

17 Aug 2006

One of the cardinal sins commercial TV often commits is using news and current affairs coverage to promote other shows on the same channel.

Barnaby

This is getting more and more shameless every year. It’ll sometimes earn a smackdown from Media Watch if MW’s having a slow week. (What’s even more galling is when other media outlets report this as if it’s news - Big Brother is world champ in this regard.)

The SMH, lately, has been doing a fair bit of the same. For instance, the website on Saturday usually includes a “news” story that is a preview of the stories in Good Weekend that you’ll only get if you buy the dead-tree paper. And then there’s today’s story about how the Herald is running a new ad campaign. Wow, now that’s newsworthy. I’m sure all the other papers will be covering it too.

The campaign uses cartoon characters very nicely designed by Jon Burgerman to “change perceptions about the masthead’s readers”. You can find out more about these super-quirky characters and read their Myspace-ripoff profiles at www.interestingcreatures.com.au.

It doesn’t take you very long, though, to work out who are the new generation of readers the Herald is targeting: hip twenty- and thirtysomethings who view themselves as quirky and alternative by dint of having seen a Michael Moore movie once and having said something snooty about reality TV.

The wisdom of Barnaby

In other words, not all Herald readers drive Volvos - some of them are fucking wankers.

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Freaks

17 Aug 2006

A terrifying insight into the minds of the internet public, here are some of the search terms people have been using to find this site in the last week or so:

  • unfeasibly large
  • “kevin rudd” kev
  • kike means
  • 18 year old cunts
  • marijuana cat piss
  • “bondi”"rooftop”"party”
  • how much money does lleyton hewitt spend
  • seeking real friendship
  • target markets AND self-help books
  • gymnast wank
  • pervy pictures
  • websites encouraging anorexia
  • cityrail techno
  • woody allen is a kike
  • examples of degrading lyrics

Oh, and of course “lara bingle“, which gets me more traffic than anything else I’ve posted . . .

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Keeping out the darkies

14 Aug 2006

It’s not often you see Johnny and co play things so badly that they had to dump their proposed changes to the immigration laws.

Previously when faced with getting an unpopular law through the senate, they’d just throw around bribes. For instance, the only reason they got the sale of the first half of Telstra (which no one wanted) through the senate was by bribing far-right wacko independent Brian Harradine with internet censorship legislation (which no sensible person who knew anything about it wanted) and a bunch of pork barelling in his home state.

So in this case I’m surprised they didn’t try the same deal with Family First (also known as the Conservative Christian Anti-Gay Anti-Abortion Anti-Freedom Party) Senator Steve Fielding — offer him something nobody else wanted, say, banning abortion.

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Shite TV? Blame the audience!

8 Aug 2006

Channel 10 axed its latest reality-TV monstrosity Yasmin’s Getting Married after a week of totally crap ratings. Never watched the thing myself, but friends who did put it down to Yasmin being good looking but dumb and incredibly annoying. (Not sure why this would be a problem for most men.)

will no one marry this woman?

You have to love the comment from Ten’s chief programming officer, David Mott, who said “Our audience has not embraced this bold new initiative.”

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Gonna bag me some ho’s

8 Aug 2006

Friends and I often talk about what we would do if we were running a fascist dictatorship. I have a fairly long list of items for my utopian society such as sending all teenagers away to an island until they stop being teenagers. In a related item, I would institute the death penalty for contemporary R&B music.

A little harsh, perhaps, but a study by researchers at the Rand Corporation published in the August issue of Pediatrics found a hard-to-refute link between listening to songs with “degrading sexual lyrics” and early sexual activity. In other words, R&B turns kids into sluts.

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