Chronicling my descent into the depths of metrosexuality
30 Jul 2009OK, so there are some companies out there who believe the best way to get some publicity for their products is to send free stuff to journos. As I’ve mentioned before, this doesn’t always have the desired effect.
In recent weeks I have found myself on the VS Sassoon for Men mailing list, which means I’ve been getting occasional deliveries of hair clippers, stubble trimmers (I’ve always wondered how George Michael did it) and personal groomers (they’re for nose hair, not other ‘personal’ areas). Today I was fortunate enough to receive the Metro Straightener.
To me, a ‘Metro Straightener’ sounds like one of those weekends that parents send their sons on to toughen them up, if they’re worried the kids might be a bit… you know. And while there’s pretty much zero chance of me reviewing the product in my professional life, the guys and gals in the office convinced me it would be against my tough-as-nails journalistic heritage not to try it out.
So just to give you an idea of the enormous challenge I was posing to the Metro Straightener, here’s a picture of me before using it.
Now, I’ve always considered the Jewfro to be one of my more appealing points, but apparently “every guy with his finger on the pulse knows that the hot look right now is straight hair,” according to Marc Mendicino, Australian Men’s Hairdresser of the Year 2009, in the media release.
Getting down to business, it took me a while to work out how to use it without singeing my corkscrew locks or my ears…
…but it certainly seemed to be having an effect.
And here you have it, after about five minutes’ work, me as a Robert Smith lookalike. Ooh, dreamy.
Now I have discovered the secret to becoming a metrosexual is to be more straight…
That last line is advertising gold!
“The secret to becoming metrosexual is to go straighter”
I love the way the hair straightener also straightened out your smile to a kind of resigned smirk.
Do the pubes! Do the pubes!!!
You’ll be manscaping next…
Oh, you’s a funny guy!
I fear you.
very suave … someone should tell christopher hitchens we have found his long lost brother
Josh, I love your curls but I’m so glad you tried this out. It’s one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen!
Hugh Grant called. He wants his floppy ‘do back.
Jack Nicholson in one flew over the cuckoo’s nest?