Archive for the ‘nerds’ Category

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Adventures in TV repair

22 Jul 2008

Came home the other night to find the TV on and the house unusually warm. Suspected burglary, but nothing seemed to be missing. Figured the TV had caught a random cosmic ray and switched itself on, and it puts out a fair amount of heat.

Things got weirder on Sunday night. TV kept turning the volume up to 100 by itself. Suspected poltergeist with hearing difficulties.

Process of elimination: remove batteries from remote - still happening. Cover infrared port on TV, in case of random radiation source in the room - seemed to work at first, then didn’t. Twiddle with buttons in case one of them got stuck - non-sticky electronic buttons don’t appear to get stuck or to be capable of unsticking.

Evaluate options: take TV to repair shop, stop watching TV, dismantle TV and poke around the insides, call exorcist. TV is weird LCD thing from Chinese manufacturer nobody’s ever heard of, Konka. Possibly similar to Sorny or Magnetbox.

Pfft.  I know a genuine Panaphonics when I see it.

Pfft. I know a genuine Panaphonics when I see it.

Likelihood of parts availability: minimal. TV addiction too entrenched to consider breaking on a Sunday night before work. Don’t believe in ghosts.

Leaving option 3.

Unplug all cables from TV, lie it flat on dining table, unscrew 25 screws, remove back cover. As expected, button assembly is a discrete component connected to the rest of the TV with a small ribbon cable. Twiddle with ribbon cable connector, appears sound. Unscrew button assembly from frame, pull away from TV with loud glue-unsticking noises. Muck around with button area, twiddle with two additional ribbon cable connectors. Stick button assembly back in place, screw back into frame, twiddle with connectors again. Replace cover, screw in 25 screws, connect power cable to TV. Volume levels remain at preset level.

Plug cables back into TV, realise I’ve missed Dr Who. Watch 5 minutes of Foyle’s War before deciding I’m not in the mood for twee period drama, and besides, Honeysuckle Weeks has a weird name. Read book, retire to bed early.

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How much user generated content can one user generate?

3 Jul 2008

Things have again been a bit quiet on this blog. I must now divide my attention between this, my work blog, Facebook, Twitter and all the content I can aggregate on Google Reader. And the dozens of random links people send me on instant messenger.

What troubles me is that I know plenty of people for whom this is a fairly lightweight regime. There are people who blog several times a day and Twitter endlessly. And it’s not as though they get paid for it, as far as I can work out. How do they manage?

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Enough, fanbois

17 Jun 2008

SMH’s story on aspiring model Isobella Jade, who perfected the art of freeloading by coming into the New York Apple store every day for 18 months to check her email, should be headlined:

Isobella Jade topless - I get more hits this wayApple perfects the art of freeloading off fanboi journos for publicity

Here’s a picture of Isobella Jade topless. I get more hits this way.

And here’s a picture of Ms Jade from Mac Directory magazine, where the SMH stole adapted the story from.

Isobella Jade in MacDirectory story

I mean, seriously, the two hottest stories in the Aussie tech media lately are:

  1. Apple releases product
  2. Apple opens shop.

I can’t imagine there ever being two stories with a stronger public interest angle.

It’s fine to be a fan of a particular brand or product, sure. But when you let your religious devotion to the Cult of Steve cloud your editorial judgment, you’re doing your readers a disservice and discrediting your publication as a click-chasing whore.

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Smart-arse Jewish scientists explain how sarcasm works

3 Jun 2008

A team of neuropsychologists from Haifa University have worked out how the brain processes sarcasm.

Dr Simone Shamay-Tsoory said language areas on the left hand side of the brain interpret the literal meaning of words and the frontal lobes and the right side of the brain understand the social and emotional context. An area called the right ventromedial prefrontal cortex then integrates the literal meaning with the social/emotional context, which will reveal any sarcasm.

People who suffer from autism or have had one of those parts of their brains damaged have trouble interpreting sarcasm - they tend to understand the statement literally - because they don’t pick up the emotional context or can’t reconcile the context with the literal meaning.

(Image courtesy of BBC)

Perhaps these parts of the brain atrophy through disuse, or can be removed through selective breeding. Which might explain Americans.

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Google outspends Australia 20:1 on renewable energy

29 Nov 2007

Earlier this week, Google founders Larry Page and Sergey Brin pledged to spend “hundreds of millions”, in the long run, on renewable energy research and projects in an initiative called RE<C (renewable energy cheaper than coal) (nerds).

The project’s eventual aim is to build one gigawatt of renewable energy capacity that is cheaper than coal. This is enough to power “a city the size of San Francisco”. (Though not, it seems, the actual city of San Francisco. Perhaps a city the size of San Francisco in a poorer country without all the energy-hogging fat Westerners in it.)

Anyhoo, a laudable aim, for sure, even if some cynical media types have pointed out Google’s interest is not entirely philanthropic, given its reliance on vast datacentres chock full of electricity-sucking servers.

By contrast, former PM Howard, even in über-generous election fire-sale mode, could only manage $75 million for renewables.  And commie Big Kev’s $500 million might only equal Google’s investments. Just for comparison, Google earned US$10.6 billion in 2006 (around $12 billion Oz); the Australian government ‘earned’ $232 billion in 2006-07.

A back-of-the-envelope calculation puts Google spending about 20 times more, as a proportion of revenue, than the Australian federal government on renewable energy. That’s taking into account the generous pledges of the Labor federal government that just got elected on its green credentials.

Seems like if there’s to be any real action on global warming, it’s going to come from the people and the private sector - not wishy washy politicos . . . of any flavour.

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Are you a man or a woman?

24 Sep 2007

Confused? Just take something you’ve written - longer than 500 words preferable - and bung in in this.

It’s based on an algorithm developed by some Israeli scientists working from the assumption that men tend to identify, determine or quantify things whereas women tend to talk about relationships between them. It analyses how frequently an author uses words that are more ‘male’ or ‘female’ and gives an overall weighted score. Thus it turns out ‘with’, ‘if’ and ‘not’ are the girliest words while ‘around’, ‘what’ and ‘more’ are decidedly blokey. Down the lower end of the scale it tends to get a bit sillier, for instance ‘the’ is masculine and ‘and’ is feminine.

I ran a few of my own posts through and it turns out I am  a man, most of the time.

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Taste with your earlobe

23 Apr 2007

Sorry for the dad joke, but I heard that awful song Listen with Your Heart on the radio in a cab yesterday and it occurred to me that technically speaking, you can’t listen with your heart any more than you can:

  • Taste with your earlobe
  • Do a poo with your elbow
  • Produce bile with your toenail
  • Transport oxygen from lungs to organs and muscles with your armpit
  • Synthesise glucose from amino acids, lactate or glycerol with your cerebellar flocculus.
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Second Lifers: mass murderers in the making?

20 Apr 2007

Having avoided it for as long as humanly possible without going into total media boycott, I finally watched the infamous Cho Seung-Hui videos on Lateline tonight. Those videos that NBC News in the US received in the post and “handled it with dignity”, according to Virginia Police Superintendent Steve Flaherty. (Yeah, all the dignity of broadcasting them around the world a hundred million times with NBC logos slapped all over them.)

What is clear is that Cho, like so many other massacre-ists, suffered a troublesome combination of “a persecution complex, an enormous, fragile ego, an obsessive need for control and low competence for exercising it”, as a chap by the name of raincoaster rather aptly puts it. They are most often “tightly-wound, ego-driven men who would conventionally be described as failures”.

In a subsequent post, raincoaster draws an unkind but not inaccurate (cruel, but fair) parallel between mass murdering psychos and people who are hugely into Second Life, which is currently the mainstream media’s second-biggest obsession after serial killers.

. . . it seemed obvious that Second Life was most attractive to mature people who’d failed in First Life . . . it gives you the opportunity to hit REPLAY and live your life over, and if you don’t like the way it’s going, you hit DELETE and create a new life. This is not something that those accustomed to success would find compelling.

Which is also, if you think about it, a pretty decent explanation of much of the bizarre, antisocial and immature behaviour that goes on in L2 (that’s what the cognoscenti call it), such as, oh I dunno, interrupting someone’s lecture with a bunch of flying penises. Second Lifers even invented a new name for people who do stuff like this: they’re called “griefers”, apparently because “no-life losers” is too long or accurate, or something.

I mean, if you want to see a textbook persecution complex, look no further than the paranoid ravings of high-profile SL dissident Prokofy Neva, which have recently descended to threats of physical violence against some of his/her nemeses. And there is no shortage of control freaks or enormous fragile egos in the never-ending flame wars on Second Citizen and other forums.

If these nutjobs can teach us nothing else, they at least demonstrate the point a very clever person recently made to me: there’s no point moving to another country, and that goes doubly for a virtual one, if you’re fucked in the head. Because no matter where you go, you take your head with you.

This is the ultimate futility of people who come to Second Life trying to compensate for their real-world shortcomings and lack of success. If you’re a loser in first life, you’re probably a loser in Second Life too.

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Why Microsoft loves open source

16 Apr 2007

The open source movement has been a godsend for Microsoft and the other commercial software developers. It allows them to say, “Maybe our software is shit, but LOOK AT THE ALTERNATIVES!”

Open source software is, with a few well-known exceptions, not as good as commercial software. Linux has been around for 15 years, you’d think they’d have been just a little bit closer to getting it right by now.

Instead we’ve had 15 years of “it’ll be much better in the next release” or “it does the 20 percent of functions that 80 percent of people use almost as well as the commercial equivalent” or “what the fuck would you know, n00b?!” or “how much did M$ pay you to write that?”.

This is because the people who write open source software spend all their time abusing non-believers and arguing on slashdot about the minutiae of the minutiae of how evil Microsoft is or why the 0.89beta7 yggdrasil distribution was mankind’s greatest achievement . . . instead of writing better software.

Until there are serious alternatives, commercial software developers have no incentive to improve their products. Instead, they just need to point out how much worse the alternatives are and keep everyone distracted by this ridiculous ideological phoney war.

Even if they spend a few million here and there funding propaganda against open source software, it’s still that much cheaper and easier than paying developers to write better software.

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Bitter misogynist fuckwits are the problem

2 Apr 2007

The downsides and limits of all this Web 2.0 free speech blogarama have been brought into sharp focus by the perils of prominent blogger Kathy Sierra (not for the squeamish) who has gone into hiding after having received death threats on her blog and others. Violent, ugly, woman-hating threats like “fuck off you boring slut… i hope someone slits your throat and cums down your gob”.

Anyone who’s anyone in the blogverse gets hate mail, even me. But unlike irate Shannon Noll fans, these charm-school dropouts have serious problems. This is symptomatic of what Andrew Keen calls the “rampant and uncontrollable misogyny of the blogosphere“.

But the problem is that the blogosphere has been colonized by a type of technophile male whose dialectic method is insult rather than polite argument. And this rotten culture of anonymity has spawned a contemporary Internet of social deviants, loonies, perverts and get-a-lifers (not to mention weird Second Lifers). The consequence is digital miasma.

Keen’s apt description owes much to Penny Arcade’s famous Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory: Normal Person + Anonymity + Audience = Total Fuckwad. (In Australian English, we would say ‘fuckwit’ or ‘Sam and the City reader’.)

It’s not just limited to the bloggerati either. You don’t have to go far on Urban Dictionary, supposedly a reflection of modern culture, or at least online culture, before you come across something stomach-turningly violent and offensive (not for the squeamish, or anyone else really).

But there are no easy answers.

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